Hold the guac, I prefer extra shoes.

And when I say extra, I mean EXTRA. I mean fuzzy pompoms, cheetah print, and. . . bread loaves? For a wallflower like me, it's comforting to know that people are most likely checking out my flashy-ass footwear instead of my darting, anxiety-ridden eyes. Nobody realizes you're wearing a metaphorical mask when the mask is so in-your-face. And I like it that way.

Jelly sandals, because obviously I'm a giant 7-year-old.